"Deep" honest, chats are not something I like to have on a regular, or any day of the year to be honest. Opening up to somebody isn't something that comes lightly to me, not even with my closest of friends. I much prefer to just shrug topics off, come up with something funny to talk about and forget about them. 

When it comes to typing them out, it is a lot easier. The words just seem to flow with the keyboard, yet I am not completely sure about it. I have the constant fear of someone close to me or someone who knows me to read my posts and I am not 100% up to being open to the world. 

That said, today I am going to man up and talk about a topic I have slightly touched many times before across my social medias although today it has arisen again when filming a video and I need to put the word out before I explode.   

Skinny shaming is NOT okay. No type of body shaming is acceptable. Not everybody can change their body and not everybody is unhappy with theirs and that is okay. 

One thing that is very clear is that everyone can have an opinion but choose wisely when you voice it. Maybe you like little bums, or maybe you like round, larger bums. Maybe you like the 'tomboy' figure, maybe you dislike it, or maybe you don't even care. That is okay. What is not okay is to tell someone that their legs are too skinny, or too fat, that their hair is disgusting or that they need to gain or loose weight. Even if you are saying it with no harm, it isn't nice and it hurts. 

Three years ago I went to watch the One Direction 'This is Us' film at the cinema with my friend, her cousins and another close friend. I was wearing a stringy vest and my friend, who's real name I am not going to mention, so let's call her... Lydia, who is a anti-bullying, anti-bull fighting, vegetarian, anti- everything you would want somebody to be anti, decided to mention my knobbly and bobbly elbows, my obviously structured collarbone and shoulder blades and continuously told me how abnormal and skeleton like they were and how my parents didn't feed me properly.

Back then I wasn't who I am and I didn't stick up for myself and I allowed her to carry it on. I allowed her to belittle me in front of everyone else and I just laughed it off trying not to be rude but obviously it did affect me, because those things do affect people. Just because you are skinny doesn't mean you are confident, it doesn't mean you have a heart of steal and it doesn't mean being ripped apart in front of several people hurts any less than it does to any other person.

If Lydia came up to me now in this stage of my life at nineteen years old, I would probably tell her to stick her opinion up where the sun doesn't shine. Yes, I am skinny, so what?

I have spent and still spend too much of my time wondering if I look 'too thin' in an outfit or whether my legs look too long. And in all reality, who cares? I have gone through my life comparing every part of my body to my friends instead of just accepting my own.

Throughout my life I have been asked so many times if I don't eat properly (mostly by teachers) and this just knocked me back time and time again. What people need to learn is that everybody is different and everyone's organs work differently. I have a really fast metabolism which means that my body breaks down and burns fat at an extremely high rate, and this is the reasoning of my 'skinniness' whereas Penny in your P.E class maybe has a really slow one meaning that she can't burn fat off as easily, and maybe Bob in your Biology class's metabolism might just work perfectly fine for his liking.

The moral of this story is: keep your mouth shut, think before you blab and don't shame anybody because of their body, EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.

           Ever since I was born I've always been a "smaller than average, very quiet child", saying that ever since I arrived at high school I started growing and getting taller than most of my friends.
           This is going to be another one of these posts where I have so much to say that it could end up in a bit of a shambles so please excuse me in advance.
           I never had issues with my weight or body physique growing up, I knew I was skinny but this never seemed to upset of effect me as ME.
           I remember the exact day this all changed as if it was yesterday, it was all because of one of my close friends at the time, I'm not going to be calling anyone out but if they are reading this, they know who they are.
           I was at the age of about 15, I was getting into the teen age where things started affecting me more and I started caring more about boys, clothes, etc and I remember me, my two friends and a couple of her cousins had just been to the One Direction Where We Are film premiere and after the film we went to McDonalds for our supper and whilst sat their my 'friend' commented on my collarbone as I was wearing a vest saying how weird, bony and disgusting it was, and then commented on my elbows, skinny wrists and so on. I am never one to show my emotions so all I did was laugh it of and make it seem like banter when inside all I wanted to do was curl up, especially as we weren't alone and it was as if I had an audience.

           Ever since then I have just felt "disgusted" about almost everything on my body and dragged myself down for my legs being to thin to wear skirts, my collarbone being to defined to wear vests, not wanting to show my elbows and so on and it started getting quite unhealthy and even my mum everyday tries giving me little pushes of encouragement on how I can wear anything I want, how I should embrace my body and love it. 

           I am me and there is nothing I can change about that, we are all individual and we are all different, just like I am blonde and maybe you are not, I also have a super fast metabolism where as maybe you don't, I can and do eat what I want when I want and don't gain weight and I used to hate it! For those of you who don't know, a fast metabolism in non scientific words is the rate at which your body burns calories and breaks down fat. I know for a fact that lots of people who know me or read this will think they'd love to have a fast metabolism too, but let me tell you, it's not all as awesome as it sounds. It has seriously affected me as how I see myself and how others see me and its always about the stereotypical slightly over weight kids that don't want to be seen in a bikini, or get called names. It made me feel like crap. Think the complete opposite of a diet, I was trying to eat the crappiest, fattest foods to try and put on weight.

           As one of my favorite people in the whole world once said: 

"You always hear about larger people going through a tough time trying to lose weight, slim people can go through just as much of a tough time trying to put it on, but nobody ever thinks of that." 

           It isn't acceptable to ask or make judgments about somebody's body criteria no matter what size or shape they are. If YOU are happy with your body then so be it, that's all that matters, and if you aren't, chances are you are doing something about it and working towards something you know will make you happy. 

           Nobody is perfect, let's work together and love ourselves.