boyfriend

Love.

20:28



Love is something so simple, but also something really complex. It is something that can make us really happy, but, without a doubt, it can also make us suffer.

There are unhealthy relationships that cause us more sadness, disappointment and pain than happiness and joy. But for a reason, we tie ourselves to the relationship. We try over and over to try again, we hold on to words and actions that no longer have anything to do with reality or even with the person we love. We end up so confused and lost in our imagination and we don't know what to do.

Its never a bad thing to love someone with all your heart, to fight for that love and to want things to work out. What is bad, is for the feelings not to be mutual and you just hang on by a thread in case that person decides to change there feelings and to suddenly love you as much as you love them.
It is true that who does not put cash on the table, doesn't win, but sometimes risking everything for a complicated relationship just isn't worth it. “Give everything expecting nothing in return” sounds like a bit of a risky theory to me, because, although you fight all you can for what you feel, if the other person doesn't contribute, it will all burn down. If that person truly loved you, they wouldn't doubt proving it and you wouldn't have to fight.

Maybe there was a time when that person loved you, but something happened along the road, there became a point where that thread broke and the magic escaped. That doesn't make someone a bad person and it doesn't give them the blame. The love just ended.

On the other hand, there are people that just simply aren't worth it, let alone worth your love or your time, those people who are always disappointed because their expectations aren't real, or those who live in the past rather than the present. There are also insecure people who need constant reassurance so they know they are loved and there are also frustrated people who are unhappy with their lives so they try and control their partners happiness until they lose freedom. This is without mentioning the untruthful people, those who don't know how to appreciate the love and the trust of the people who truly love them.

True love fills us with power and happiness to fight, but it is devastating to not feel loved, when that person isn't willing to give it a try, when they won't change their attitude and won't do what they promise. Then, without a doubt, comes the question that we all have, that comes from the bottom of our soul and needs an answer “Is it worth it?”

Along with it comes an answer that makes you look towards yourself, respect yourself and value yourself and more than anything, love yourself, because, if you can't do that, nobody else can. If you manage to see all the good in yourself and you decide to fight for yourself first, you will find an exit to the right answer.

I know how hard it is to leave someone you love, especially when you get excited about things that never happened but you need to accept it, be strong, and understand that sometimes it is better to walk away than to carry on wasting time on people who don't love you nor need you. You are worth so much, yet you are sat around waiting for a call, a message, or just waiting to find out if they genuinely love you or they are only killing time.

Nobody deserves less, and nobody deserves to suffer over someone who doesn't care about them. Sadly, you have to go through it to know it, but it is just another life lesson and a great opportunity to strengthen your self-love. It is time to wave goodbye to all the tears you have shed and although I can't guarantee the road will be easy, or there won't be any rocks in the way, I can guarantee that you deserve happiness, so don't ever forget that.

Don't waste your life nor your time on something that doesn't make you grow as a person. Don't let anybody take that smile off your face because it is time to live your life and to cherish every second.




bblogger

Skinny Shaming Is Not Okay.

20:11










"Deep" honest, chats are not something I like to have on a regular, or any day of the year to be honest. Opening up to somebody isn't something that comes lightly to me, not even with my closest of friends. I much prefer to just shrug topics off, come up with something funny to talk about and forget about them. 
When it comes to typing them out, it is a lot easier. The words just seem to flow with the keyboard, yet I am not completely sure about it. I have the constant fear of someone close to me or someone who knows me to read my posts and I am not 100% up to being open to the world. 

That said, today I am going to man up and talk about a topic I have slightly touched many times before across my social medias although today it has arisen again when filming a video and I need to put the word out before I explode.   

Skinny shaming is NOT okay. No type of body shaming is acceptable. Not everybody can change their body and not everybody is unhappy with theirs and that is okay. 

One thing that is very clear is that everyone can have an opinion but choose wisely when you voice it. Maybe you like little bums, or maybe you like round, larger bums. Maybe you like the 'tomboy' figure, maybe you dislike it, or maybe you don't even care. That is okay. What is not okay is to tell someone that their legs are too skinny, or too fat, that their hair is disgusting or that they need to gain or loose weight. Even if you are saying it with no harm, it isn't nice and it hurts. 

Three years ago I went to watch the One Direction 'This is Us' film at the cinema with my friend, her cousins and another close friend. I was wearing a stringy vest and my friend, who's real name I am not going to mention, so let's call her... Lydia, who is a anti-bullying, anti-bull fighting, vegetarian, anti- everything you would want somebody to be anti, decided to mention my knobbly and bobbly elbows, my obviously structured collarbone and shoulder blades and continuously told me how abnormal and skeleton like they were and how my parents didn't feed me properly.

Back then I wasn't who I am and I didn't stick up for myself and I allowed her to carry it on. I allowed her to belittle me in front of everyone else and I just laughed it off trying not to be rude but obviously it did affect me, because those things do affect people. Just because you are skinny doesn't mean you are confident, it doesn't mean you have a heart of steal and it doesn't mean being ripped apart in front of several people hurts any less than it does to any other person.

If Lydia came up to me now in this stage of my life at nineteen years old, I would probably tell her to stick her opinion up where the sun doesn't shine. Yes, I am skinny, so what?

I have spent and still spend too much of my time wondering if I look 'too thin' in an outfit or whether my legs look too long. And in all reality, who cares? I have gone through my life comparing every part of my body to my friends instead of just accepting my own.

Throughout my life I have been asked so many times if I don't eat properly (mostly by teachers) and this just knocked me back time and time again. What people need to learn is that everybody is different and everyone's organs work differently. I have a really fast metabolism which means that my body breaks down and burns fat at an extremely high rate, and this is the reasoning of my 'skinniness' whereas Penny in your P.E class maybe has a really slow one meaning that she can't burn fat off as easily, and maybe Bob in your Biology class's metabolism might just work perfectly fine for his liking.

The moral of this story is: keep your mouth shut, think before you blab and don't shame anybody because of their body, EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.


advise

Lets talk mental health.

19:56

     Anxiety is something we all experience from time to time. Most of us would recognize feelings of tension, worry or fear. But if you experience anxiety symptoms at higher levels than usual, or they stay at high levels for long periods of time, this could become really uncomfortable and interfere with everyday life.
     Anxiety disorders are one of the most common mental health problems, affecting 1 in 4 people in the UK each year. Still people within most societies view these people as threatening and uncomfortable and these attitudes frequently lead to exclusion or discrimination towards people with mental health problems, which can make it much harder for people to speak openly about what they are going through and seek the help they need.
     Anxiety can be present continuously or triggered by specific situations.
     For some people, anxiety can take over there lives, as panic attacks are an exaggeration of the body's normal response to fear, stress or excitement.
     Depression is another, more serious mental illness, and one that requires long-term treatment and support.
Many people suffer from depression, but sometimes it can make you feel as if you are alone in your struggle.
     Mental health problems are common, but nearly nine in ten people who experience them face stigma or discrimination, and this can be one of the hardest parts of the overall experience, as it can lead to the lost of friendships, isolation, exclusion, difficulties in getting jobs and so on.
     But it doesn't have to be this way. The aim of most Mental Health Campaigns is to encourage us all to be more aware about mental health and for us all to start conversations to help others.

advise

Out growing friends.

19:28

     No, I'm not talking in terms of size or height, or anything physical. I'm talking about outgrowing personally, mentally or even emotionally.
     Every type of relationship is a journey not a destination and as we change and grow as a person due to experiences or situations that life brings to us, sometimes, instead of bringing people closer, we push them away.
     The thing is, people change.
     Out growing someone doesn't mean you are above them or better than them, it just means that you are in different stages of life. 
     I'll be the first to admit I've felt compromised into a relationship, either because of the past or because of the memories I've felt forced to forgive someone.
     It is 100% OK for this to happen. However, for some the idea that your friendship with someone is not what it once was can be a sad prospect, maybe they saw you through a rough time and you appreciate it, but are they really worth it?
     Let me just say, a few years ago, I had a lot of 'best friends', or even 'close friends', or 'friends I met through other friends' and so on. It made me feel good to have so many friends, because I could always go out, or meet up with someone. Eventually, this all began to change. Those who I concidered my close friends began to distance, everyone went there separate ways, they started changing, there was now the drunk friend, the angry friend, the friend that only texted me when they needed something, the hating friend.. I think you get the idea. I went through a period of self-reflection and asked myself if it was perhaps me.
     Well, let me just say I was wrong. There was nothing wrong with me, I was growing up. Everyone gets to a point in life where they face decisions, and for some reason friendships are the most difficult. But for me, they weren't true friendships in the true concept of the word. Little by little I began cutting ties to people who no longer made sence in my life.
     This year my priorities began to shift and I couldn't and wouldn't  let myself deal with bullshit no longer. In my opinion, the best thing of being self-aware, is you begin to see through peoples bullshit faster than ever. Unfortunately, most people aren't self-aware and refuse to accept their issues. But I, have made the conscious effort to keep the people that are good for me, close, and those who aren't, as far away as possible. I don't believe for a second that because I was once friends with someone they should still feel entitled to my friendship now. 
     What about you, have you been through anything like this? xx

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