I ended 2018 as I mean to go on...
During 2018 instead of waiting until the 1st of January to start my so called "resolutions", mid December I decided Why not now? Instead of waiting twelve more days, twenty or even two to start living my best life (so cliché, I know, sorry, yep...) Why not now?
I want to be the best version of myself for myself, I want to love what I do and do what I love, I want to spend time with the people I love and I want to squeeze every last drop out of life. I´ve spent this past year or even two dwelling on decisions I have made, places I´ve missed out on going to, what if this and what if that, when the real problem is NOW. Live now cause you have no clue what will happen tomorrow.
Ever since I was born I've always been a "smaller than average, very quiet child", saying that ever since I arrived at high school I started growing and getting taller than most of my friends.
This is going to be another one of these posts where I have so much to say that it could end up in a bit of a shambles so please excuse me in advance.
I never had issues with my weight or body physique growing up, I knew I was skinny but this never seemed to upset of effect me as ME.
I remember the exact day this all changed as if it was yesterday, it was all because of one of my close friends at the time, I'm not going to be calling anyone out but if they are reading this, they know who they are.
I was at the age of about 15, I was getting into the teen age where things started affecting me more and I started caring more about boys, clothes, etc and I remember me, my two friends and a couple of her cousins had just been to the One Direction Where We Are film premiere and after the film we went to McDonalds for our supper and whilst sat their my 'friend' commented on my collarbone as I was wearing a vest saying how weird, bony and disgusting it was, and then commented on my elbows, skinny wrists and so on. I am never one to show my emotions so all I did was laugh it of and make it seem like banter when inside all I wanted to do was curl up, especially as we weren't alone and it was as if I had an audience.
This is going to be another one of these posts where I have so much to say that it could end up in a bit of a shambles so please excuse me in advance.
I never had issues with my weight or body physique growing up, I knew I was skinny but this never seemed to upset of effect me as ME.
I remember the exact day this all changed as if it was yesterday, it was all because of one of my close friends at the time, I'm not going to be calling anyone out but if they are reading this, they know who they are.
I was at the age of about 15, I was getting into the teen age where things started affecting me more and I started caring more about boys, clothes, etc and I remember me, my two friends and a couple of her cousins had just been to the One Direction Where We Are film premiere and after the film we went to McDonalds for our supper and whilst sat their my 'friend' commented on my collarbone as I was wearing a vest saying how weird, bony and disgusting it was, and then commented on my elbows, skinny wrists and so on. I am never one to show my emotions so all I did was laugh it of and make it seem like banter when inside all I wanted to do was curl up, especially as we weren't alone and it was as if I had an audience.
Ever since then I have just felt "disgusted" about almost everything on my body and dragged myself down for my legs being to thin to wear skirts, my collarbone being to defined to wear vests, not wanting to show my elbows and so on and it started getting quite unhealthy and even my mum everyday tries giving me little pushes of encouragement on how I can wear anything I want, how I should embrace my body and love it.
I am me and there is nothing I can change about that, we are all individual and we are all different, just like I am blonde and maybe you are not, I also have a super fast metabolism where as maybe you don't, I can and do eat what I want when I want and don't gain weight and I used to hate it! For those of you who don't know, a fast metabolism in non scientific words is the rate at which your body burns calories and breaks down fat. I know for a fact that lots of people who know me or read this will think they'd love to have a fast metabolism too, but let me tell you, it's not all as awesome as it sounds. It has seriously affected me as how I see myself and how others see me and its always about the stereotypical slightly over weight kids that don't want to be seen in a bikini, or get called names. It made me feel like crap. Think the complete opposite of a diet, I was trying to eat the crappiest, fattest foods to try and put on weight.
As one of my favorite people in the whole world once said:
"You always hear about larger people going through a tough time trying to lose weight, slim people can go through just as much of a tough time trying to put it on, but nobody ever thinks of that."
It isn't acceptable to ask or make judgments about somebody's body criteria no matter what size or shape they are. If YOU are happy with your body then so be it, that's all that matters, and if you aren't, chances are you are doing something about it and working towards something you know will make you happy.
Nobody is perfect, let's work together and love ourselves.
Throughout these past couple of years I have been noticed online by quite a few 'internet famous' people, and may I say it is an indescribable amazing feeling, it is kind of like adrenaline mixed with ten kilos of happiness and it is a feeling that personally never wares down.
Said this, today I thought I would round up all the times I've been noticed online so when reading back through this post I can possibly feel the rush of adrenaline/happiness all over again.
My first ever 'noticed by famous person experience' was from an Instagram famous girl called Alexis [@therealblasian] I remember her spamming all my photos of my personal Instagram with likes and comments and then her following me and since then we have this cute little relationship and even know she still phases to amaze me both with her beauty and her way to make me smile.
December 2014 I got noticed by Aston Merrygold aka my heroe. Since they auditioned for the XFactor I have always been a massive fan of JLS so when I woke up at 5AM to a follow and a bunch of notifications the first thing my instincts made me do was scream before running into my parents room to tell them (only to get a "ok" as a response).
Mid 2014 I really got into YouTube and editing so I started a YouTube account where I would make edits of YouTubers that I loved and this is when I got noticed by Hannah Maggs and Stef Michalak after making two video edits for them and also from Alfie Deyes after he saw my edit.
Moving on to 2015 (the 14th of January to be exact) it all started off with James Yammouni out of The Janoskians following me on Twitter after me tweeting him about wanting to be his girlfriend *cringe*.
Also during this month I was noticed by Foxilla aka Rebecca Fox on Tumblr, twice by Romeo Lacoste (a famous tattoo artist) and Sam Pottorf.
Obviously I can't forget about the time Poppy Deyes's boyfriend Sean noticed me!
During the end of 2015 I got noticed by a few other 'Internet famous people" such as JJ from Union J on Instagram and George Shelley on Twitter just before he joined I'm a Celeb and on the 14th of December (14 is my lucky day) I got followed and faved by Jakey Boys on Twitter and Adam Waithe faved!
(That is also without forgetting the time Jake Boys and his girlfriend Emily Canham liked a load of edits I made for them on Instagram!)
Now in 2016 this 'thing' still hasn't died down as on the 15th I was noticed by Gabriella Lindley (twice in one day) after me tweeting her about my weird dreams...
And to finish off, last but not least my fave Vogue model Diego Barrueco who I have been stalking on a daily basis for years faved my tweet!
Now a question for you, have you ever been noticed by a famous/internet famous person? If so, who and if not, who would you love to get noticed by?
Whilst I am waiting for my dinner to cook I was browsing through some photos on my laptop and I thought to type out a post in which I talk about my latest favorite outfit and also my makeup, so here goes.
Roll neck top: Primark.
High waist black jeans: Pull&Bear.
Chelsea boots: Primark.
Rimmel Match Perfection foundation.
ASTRA concealor.
Revolution London 'What are you waiting for?' eyeshadow palette.
Deliplus liquid eyeliner.
Essence 'All eyes on me' mascara.
L'Oreal Brow artist plumper.
Beter Disney bronzer by Minnie.
High waist black jeans: Pull&Bear.
Chelsea boots: Primark.
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| Ignore my messy brows!! |
ASTRA concealor.
Revolution London 'What are you waiting for?' eyeshadow palette.
Deliplus liquid eyeliner.
Essence 'All eyes on me' mascara.
L'Oreal Brow artist plumper.
Beter Disney bronzer by Minnie.
