Ever since I was born I've always been a "smaller than average, very quiet child", saying that ever since I arrived at high school I started growing and getting taller than most of my friends.
This is going to be another one of these posts where I have so much to say that it could end up in a bit of a shambles so please excuse me in advance.
I never had issues with my weight or body physique growing up, I knew I was skinny but this never seemed to upset of effect me as ME.
I remember the exact day this all changed as if it was yesterday, it was all because of one of my close friends at the time, I'm not going to be calling anyone out but if they are reading this, they know who they are.
I was at the age of about 15, I was getting into the teen age where things started affecting me more and I started caring more about boys, clothes, etc and I remember me, my two friends and a couple of her cousins had just been to the One Direction Where We Are film premiere and after the film we went to McDonalds for our supper and whilst sat their my 'friend' commented on my collarbone as I was wearing a vest saying how weird, bony and disgusting it was, and then commented on my elbows, skinny wrists and so on. I am never one to show my emotions so all I did was laugh it of and make it seem like banter when inside all I wanted to do was curl up, especially as we weren't alone and it was as if I had an audience.
This is going to be another one of these posts where I have so much to say that it could end up in a bit of a shambles so please excuse me in advance.
I never had issues with my weight or body physique growing up, I knew I was skinny but this never seemed to upset of effect me as ME.
I remember the exact day this all changed as if it was yesterday, it was all because of one of my close friends at the time, I'm not going to be calling anyone out but if they are reading this, they know who they are.
I was at the age of about 15, I was getting into the teen age where things started affecting me more and I started caring more about boys, clothes, etc and I remember me, my two friends and a couple of her cousins had just been to the One Direction Where We Are film premiere and after the film we went to McDonalds for our supper and whilst sat their my 'friend' commented on my collarbone as I was wearing a vest saying how weird, bony and disgusting it was, and then commented on my elbows, skinny wrists and so on. I am never one to show my emotions so all I did was laugh it of and make it seem like banter when inside all I wanted to do was curl up, especially as we weren't alone and it was as if I had an audience.
Ever since then I have just felt "disgusted" about almost everything on my body and dragged myself down for my legs being to thin to wear skirts, my collarbone being to defined to wear vests, not wanting to show my elbows and so on and it started getting quite unhealthy and even my mum everyday tries giving me little pushes of encouragement on how I can wear anything I want, how I should embrace my body and love it.
I am me and there is nothing I can change about that, we are all individual and we are all different, just like I am blonde and maybe you are not, I also have a super fast metabolism where as maybe you don't, I can and do eat what I want when I want and don't gain weight and I used to hate it! For those of you who don't know, a fast metabolism in non scientific words is the rate at which your body burns calories and breaks down fat. I know for a fact that lots of people who know me or read this will think they'd love to have a fast metabolism too, but let me tell you, it's not all as awesome as it sounds. It has seriously affected me as how I see myself and how others see me and its always about the stereotypical slightly over weight kids that don't want to be seen in a bikini, or get called names. It made me feel like crap. Think the complete opposite of a diet, I was trying to eat the crappiest, fattest foods to try and put on weight.
As one of my favorite people in the whole world once said:
"You always hear about larger people going through a tough time trying to lose weight, slim people can go through just as much of a tough time trying to put it on, but nobody ever thinks of that."
It isn't acceptable to ask or make judgments about somebody's body criteria no matter what size or shape they are. If YOU are happy with your body then so be it, that's all that matters, and if you aren't, chances are you are doing something about it and working towards something you know will make you happy.
Nobody is perfect, let's work together and love ourselves.
